Twilight’s Last Gleaming (1977)

Twilight’s Last Gleaming is a good destination for anyone looking for precursors to The Rock or the television show 24. The Rock possesses the idea of a rogue army officer threatening a terrorist attack against a U.S. government that he feels has acted dishonestly. 24 contains the idea of a race against time told across split-screens. However, neither The Rock or 24 had Robert Aldrich in command.

Robert Aldrich is a pulp fiction filmmaker. His movies deal with the less than noble elements of society – the criminal, the corrupt, the broken and the battered. However, his heroes are often trying to right a wrong or to make amends.  Twilight’s Last Gleaming is no different,  but as Aldrich flicks go, this ones is not his greatest. Forced to re-create U.S. military installations in Munich, where the film was shot, the sets lack the heft and weight of real life military structures. The chintzy sets and props cheapen the look of the film and distract from the rather serious political statement being made by the characters.

Further more, the split-screen is more experiment than artistic statement. While it pulls together disparate locations and characters something is amiss with the editing within each frame. It is a matter I want to explore more deeply in other films that use split-screen, but in short let me say this. When a split-screen is used to show that two actions are taking place in two different locations and edit within one of those screens indicates a break in time or a shift in location. This disruption, especially when no such disruption takes place in the other screen is jarring.

Still, this is a tense little chess-match of a film and like most Aldrich films we find ourselves rooting for an unlikely, but fully driven, anti-hero, who in this day and age would be labeled a traitor or worse yet, a terrorist. And, just what does this terrorist want? Simply, the truth – that the U.S. government has hidden away some rather nefarious facts from the general public, facts that would forever change how Americans view their country. It’s an idea as possible today as it was in 1977, but let’s hope it remains pulp fiction.

The Lords of Salem (2013)

 

Meet the new scream queen of menstrual cinema.

So rare is it that I get to go to the movie theater that you’d  think I’d make greater use of such a rarefied night than going to see the new Rob Zombie horror flick. Yet, there I was, at the cineplex awash in regret. The choice of film was not exactly mine, but considering the other things playing in town, this was sure shot. There was no way The Lords of Salem was going to disappoint, but don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting it to be good.

Here’s a little side-note. I’m much happier enjoying a film that I know is going to be a disaster than expecting a film to connect with me emotionally or a film that is trying to sell me an image of coolness. If a film has some sort of statement to make about the human condition or it’s trying to wow me with the lifestyle of the characters in the film I don’t want to see it, not when I’m looking to just lose my mind for an hour or two. Give me madness, give me bat-shit-demented-off-the-rails-crazy. This is why I went to The Lords of Salem not Place Beyond the Pines or To The Wonder.

However, no sooner did the previews start before I began to rethink my stance on entertaining cinema.  As expected, the trailers playing before The Lords of Salem were for other horror or thriller films. Most exploited flashy editing, shocking imagery, and high levels of grotesqueness. They got me primed for the feature presentation, but mostly they got me wondering why I waste my time at all with horror movies. Why subject myself to such brutal imagery? Can’t I just turn on the news? I swore that if I lived through this night out I’d change my viewing habits for good. But, tonight, it was too late. I was there, in my seat, ten dollars poorer, and full of regret. Roll the film.

The Lords of Salem is not a great horror film. The first hour drags, so much that I fell asleep. But Thankfully, I woke in time to witness a demonic wookie in a room with a neon cross. That is when The Lords of Salem got entertaining. For the next hour a series of seemingly connected, but never fully developed, scenes flashed on the screen. The film is littered with gothic, witchy, demonic imagery and lots and lots of elderly full frontal nudity. Because, what is scarier than the body of an aging woman, right?

I suggest you let the demonic wookie win.

Rob Zombie’s aesthetic is that of a music video director. The image is king and the story need only hold on by the thinnest of threads. His plan of attack is that of a chimpanzee flinging shit. He throws so many plot lines, ideas, and half-formulated concepts at the screen see what sticks and what slides away. What’s left is a scatter shot of interesting ideas that never fertilized. As the film progresses the weirdness quickens. Zombie appears desperate to shock and awe his audience, but what ends up happening is something different, something ludicrous.  Lucky for him, or perhaps lucky for me, people didn’t mind laughing at his vision hell.

Normally, when I crack-up in a theater I’m expecting sneers, cold-stares, or death-threats. This happens more than you’d want to know and it probably explains why my wife and I rarely go out to the cinema. I make bad cinema interactive and I guess that even in this day and age not everyone wants interactive. That or we all don’t agree to call a bad film out when we see it.  Thankfully, I was not in the minority at The Lords of Salem. Because when Rob Zombie’s version of Satan waddles onto the screen – and don’t worry I won’t spoil the best laugh in the film by describing this abomination – but when it shows up, the dams burst and the whole theater erupted in laughter.

Kudos to you Rob Zombie.  You turned my regret into unabashed joy. I don’t understand what your problem is with your wife’s menstrual cycle and there is enough evidence in this film for a graduate student to write a thesis, but for now I’m not giving up on horror films. I’m just going to continue to seek out the head-scratching horror; the films that are more scared of making sense than making scares.

Five on the Black Hand Side (1973)

“You’ve been coffy-tized, blacula-rized and super-flied – but now you’re gonna be glorified, unified and filled-with-pride,” was Five on the Black Hand Side‘s tagline. The film presents itself as an antidote to blaxploitation. While it does present a non-exploitative, humorous clash between different generations and ideologies, the film cannot shake its roots. Developed from Charlie L. Russell‘s stage play of the same name the movie feels stilted. While the debate between various characters is lively, it never feels natural. Plainly speaking, it feels scripted. The dialogue is well written, directly poignant and funny. Most of all, the film willingly approach serious questions of black identity and politics, even if ever so lightly, which is more than I can say for anything coming from modern black filmmakers like the Tyler Perry or the Wayans Brothers, who once mimicked characters from Five on the Black Hand Side in their show In Living Color. 

Re-Animator (1985)

Re-Animator is from a time when effects were practical and films were far more fun. It’s exciting to think of effects wizards working with latex and fake blood not CGI wizards hunched over keyboards. The mental image of the former is a kin to a mad scientist in his workshop. The latter has all the visual energy and wonder of an account pouring over a ledger.  It’s also a lot more fun to imagine the crew and actors on the set watching body parts exploded than imagining them re-acting to events that will be added in post-production. Personally, I think the act of making a film like Re-Animator be just as fun as watching it. You can watch it here or on Netflix and tell me, am I wrong?

Also, I think the font in the credits of Re-Animator is the same as Law & Order, no?

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1982)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains is a punk rock fantasy that would have us believe an arena of already brain-washed punks (or skunks as they call themselves, here) would sincerely listen to Ray Winstone lecture them about how they’ve been marketed to by a fraudulent female punk band that is more fashion than fury. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains is a satire, but it fails to mock the simple notion that no rocker pushing 30 is going to be able to talk any sense into a crowd of consumerist teen rebels. That’s just farce.

This movie was fun as a kid, but it’s more funny than fun once you are over 30 and no longer trustworthy. I think I’ll stick with Out of the Blue. 

Detour (1945)

Argue all you want, but Detour is horribly flawed. Roger Ebert uses an analysis by Andrew Britton to question if lead actor Tom Neal can be a trustworthy narrator. It’s interesting to consider that the dialog he speaks directly to the audience is not a woeful plea for sympathy, but a lie he’s trying to sell to the audience and maybe himself. Regards of what it is, I find it horribly agitating and disruptive. A direct address to the audience is just not something used to seeing in cinema and because its really on his voice that addresses the audience it feels like an after thought. Because the entire film is full of faults this choice does not feel like like a sure-footed decision by a daring director, but a corrective decision. Most of the decisions made in Detour are due to economy more than experimentation. Which is not to say Edgar G. Ulmer is not a good director. That   Detour is entertaining as it is stands as proof that he is good and very inventive. Still, it feels that to appreciate this film you also have to appreciate the circumstances under which it was made, the creative problem solving that brought it together, and the analysis that often sounds like excuses or apologies.

Black Shampoo (1976)

Mr. Jonathan is hairdresser / Lothario who does far more than a woman’s hair. When he’s not satisfying his sexually starved clientele he’s a mean fighting machine looking to win back the receptionist who has been stolen away from him.

Made one year after Shampoo starring Warren Beatty, Black Shampoo is one of the oddest twists blaxploitation has ever taken.  With its odd mix of styles the film sexploitation, blaxploitation, even gayploitation (if that is even a genre) this film mixes action, comedy and romance in a way that only director Greydon Clark and writer Alvin L. Fast are capable of doing.

Black Shampoo often screeches to a halter for the sake of showing some serious skin. Clark knows that sex sells and many of his exploitation films try to take this philosophy to the bank, but often in such head scratching ways that his films become either brilliant forays into the unexpected or bungled messes. It really depends on how you look at it and how much you demand a film stick to convention. Personally, I’ll take unexpected, even wonderfully crazy, if I’m looking to be entertained. Show me something I could not think up on my own. A black hairdresser kicking ass with chainsaw and partying at a gay rodeo…where else am I going to see that?

 

The Evictors (1979)

When a film promises me Vic Morrow as its star I expect something special. What The Evictors, delivers is a less than stellar, down-right, subdued performance by Vic Morrow. The film’s story centers around a house with a violent history. When new tenants move in, the violence continues, but its not hard to figure who’s trying to scare or kill off the home’s new owners. Made as a period piece, The Evictors does a good job capturing the look of various eras, but that should be no surprise. Director Charles B. Pierce made most of his living as a set decorator. I can’t think of two many other set decorators who also directed. Pierce has made at least great two creepy, southern horror films - The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972) and The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976). The Evictors is in the same vein, but not as successful.

Kiss Me Deadly

How is this Spillane’s latest H-Bomb?

The Robert Aldrich film Kiss Me Deadly is based on a Mickey Spillane novel of the same name. However, A.I. Bezzerides‘ script adds the film’s most memorable elements of nuclear espionage and a Los Angeles backdrop, things that appear nowhere in the novel. One thing the two Kiss Me Deadlys share is Mike Hammer. Perhaps that name just doesn’t mean much to me. I don’t watch this film because I want to watch a Mike Hammer story. I watch it because of the touches Bezzeride’s script add to the story. I want to see a noir film with atomic paranoia set in the Los Angeles underbelly. So, why bother adapting when you could just write an original? The Coen’s Brother’s Miller’s Crossing takes liberally from Dashiell Hammett‘s The Glass Key, but that book and author are given no credit in the film. Would anyone have cared, or even noticed, if Bezzerides or Aldrich borrowed Spillane’s plot? All they’d have to remove was that name – Mike Hammer. Would anyone have cared? Remember, this was years before Darren McGavin or Stacy Keach developed the character on screen.

The Atomic Submarine (1959)

There is science fiction that writes the future and science fiction that simple reacts to the present. The former is inspiring and imaginative – in the best sense of the word. The latter is automatically dated and often comical in its water-downed or confused understanding of real science – though it can also be a lot of fun. The Atomic Submarine belongs to the latter group.  Capitalizing on UFO paranoia and cold war atomic fascination, this film presents no legitimate scientific quandaries. It simply stands as a reflection of the era in which it was made.

Partially thrilling, mostly corny, the film provides more chuckles than excitement. If there is scientific debate in this matinee movie it comes in the arguments between a senior officer and the anti-nuclear, pacifist son of a scientist.  After being confronted with the perils of obvious stock footage and comical alien life forms the young peacenik comes around and understands that as long as we have advanced atomic technology/weaponry and brave military men we need not fear any invaders whether they come from the skies or right here on Earth. Lesson learned. Atomic power is awesome for America.